Martin has been recently diagnosed with epilepsy. He shares his experiences of being diagnosed and the challenges that he has had to face.
I was diagnosed just over two years ago, my ex-partner found me lying on the couch unresponsive.
My family has a history of epilepsy, so I made an appointment and to be honest I can’t remember the tests which identified my epilepsy. I was sent for an MRI scan which found a growth on my brain.
I’ve had a further two MRI scans and the growth isn’t growing just now, the neurologist doesn’t want to do anymore scans and instead focus on seizure control, they don’t know what the growth is or if it is to blame for the epilepsy.
I asked to have it removed but they said they couldn’t as they don’t know the implications of surgery. Six months ago, my epilepsy doctor told me I had reached the point where death during a seizure was a possibility (my dad, his sister and her son have all died during seizures).
I take small seizures which I am aware of then there are the big seizures which knock me unconscious, I chew my tongue and shake uncontrollably.
Accepting diagnosis
I’m just starting to accept my illness, I hate being sick in public. I watch my dad take seizures regularly, the vulnerability and defenceless nature this condition leaves you in is hard to accept, the pain in my body and memory loss are tough.
Epilepsy affects your daily living, I watched my dad, the build up to his seizures would make him irritable.
He’d be sick and then recover for about a week and be epilepsy free then the process would start again. I’ve started to notice these symptoms in my life now.
My ex left me one year after being diagnosed, we where together for 32 years, my two sons don’t talk to me, I try not to be angry but life’s tough.
I visit a man’s club once a week were I talk honestly, trust is a rare commodity with me now.
Epilepsy has robbed me of a lot but I’m trying to regain some life. Every night I go to bed I think is this the last night, it doesn’t bother me anymore, if you die, you die.
If you would like to share your experiences of living with epilepsy, please email David Coates our Communications Officer at dcoates@epilepsyscotland.org.uk or call 0141 427 4911.